Beyond the occasional actual hot days here in the great northwest things in my life have been sizzling. Yes, the whole book publishing thing is one part, but the numbers of events, trips, visits and assorted decisions have been record breaking.
A few weeks ago I found myself spinning around the drain, so totally overwhelmed that my darling husband had me go for a long fast walk before I imploded. It was a moment when I had great empathy for my many clients who reach that decision overload described in the June newsletter.
Normally I am very good at putting things and tasks into compartments, not to say boxes. Then I unpack them one at a time and deal, but on this occasional they all hit at once.
It took a while to remember that the feeling of overwhelm itself was the problem, NOT ANY of the actual issues or choices. But I could not see this while alternately obsessing about them and feeling totally frozen in the headlights. Taking that walk was the key.
This brings me back a concept from Being Home, which I had totally forgotten in the moment. I have a number of ways to feel at home in my world, which I think of as nests, which are in fact nested within each other. One is my interior self, my attitudes and feelings. During a bout of total overload this is not such a great neighborhood!
So I stepped around it and found home in my moving body (the physical nest) and the wind and breezes outside my door. (The nest of nature). Finding my equilibrium here made is easier to come back to the mental and emotional balancing act of my busy life.
The other nest that holds my well-being is my home and how I manage it. Luckily it does support me and so gradually the sense of overwhelm diminished.
Another interesting approach was brought to my attention recently by Mia Barbera, a friend who works as a coach.
The concept involved the idea of melting. This is not an activity that I do much of unless on the beach or in a hot bath. As she mentioned it I was reminded that when I actually let go of my own mental death grip on things the feeling is indeed one of melting. This returns me to my environment, which is a much better neighborhood for creating change and balance.
Mia also told me about another person working on habit (acquisition and change) whose work is called
I did not look very far into the site, because it appears to be on-line learning and coursework. I include it because if you like that kind of thing, it looks really great. Especially where he writes:
My Tiny Habits® program can create new behaviors in your life. Let me explain . . . I’ve studied human behavior for 20 years, mostly at Stanford University. Here’s what I’ve learned: Only three things will change behavior in the long term.
Option A. Have an epiphany Option B. Change your environment (what surrounds you) Option C. Take baby steps
Creating an epiphany is difficult. You should rule out Option A unless you have mystical powers (I don’t). But here’s the good news: The other two options are practical. And they can lead to lasting change if you follow the right program.
Did you catch the common theme? Environment.
And if you feel like you’re in a “hot seat” take a breath, and consider what baby steps you can actually take in another direction!